CIGARRPRAT
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Ämne: | Exempel på text: |
Skrivet av: | Peter (Hällingsjö) |
Tid: | 2007-02-02 08:12:39 |
Angående nya JR alt: (måste vara skrivet av Lew Rothman himself, samma humor) Many of you may think that we just slap stickers on bundles of cigars to create different JR Alternatives, but there’s really a lot more involved in the creation of these low-cost handmades than people realize… and there’s a lot of risk. These cigars are contracted in massive quantities, and if people don’t like them and they fail to sell, then we gotta eat them (or at least smoke them) ourselves. Prior to ordering a new version of JR Alternative we have to determine which manufacturer is most capable of producing a cigar similar to the famous brand we are attempting to imitate. Sometimes that manufacturer might be the very same outfit that produces the actual brand that our cigar is an alternative to, and sometimes that manufacturer might not even operate in the same country as the original brand. However, we do guarantee that every JR Alternative is made in the same hemisphere. Next, our tasting team (that’s me and a guy named Ed) get samples of the real cigars and the prospective imitations and check to make sure that the real cigars and the JR Alternatives at least look like they were made on the same planet. That’s because people judge things by how they look… and I will say without hesitation that these new JR Alternatives presented here for the first time actually look BETTER than the real stuff! Next, we smoke our asses off – first the real cigars, then the Alternative varieties. We feel them, we inspect them, we disassemble them, we sniff ‘em for traces of ammonia, chew parts of the wrapper, and consume great quantities of alcohol to keep our taste buds clean. This is a very tough job, but somebody hasta do it… and very few are qualified like me and Ed. In fact, our opinions are so important that the company has taken out a multimillion-dollar policy to insure our taste buds, and both of us had to sign waivers that we would never eat any foods containing the four highest-category chili peppers or the insurance would be null and void. In fact, a team of surgeons actually took samples of our taste buds and cryogenically froze them as evidence in the event of an insurance claim. Now, you may think I’m kidding but, here – take a look at this picture of Ed’s tongue (no, I’m not showing you my tongue too; one picture is enough to prove my point) and you can see where the taste buds have been surgically removed. Both Ed and I think you are gonna be absolutely amazed at how good these new JR Alternatives are – and flabbergasted (I love that word) at the low price for cigars of this quality. |
Ämne | Tid | Skrivet av |
N VARNING! Ladda inte ner... | 08:08 den 2 februari 2007 | Peter (Hällingsjö) |
N Exempel på text: | 08:12 den 2 februari 2007 | Peter (Hällingsjö) |
N Exempel på text: | 10:31 den 3 februari 2007 | Andréas Thn |
N Exempel på text: | 20:48 den 3 februari 2007 | Peter (Hällingsjö) |
N VARNING! Ladda inte ner... | 13:47 den 2 februari 2007 | higgins |
N VARNING! Ladda inte ner... | 13:49 den 2 februari 2007 | Peter (Hällingsjö) |
N VARNING! Ladda inte ner... | 09:58 den 3 februari 2007 | higgins |